J I N X A C L E S J I N X A C L E S J I N X A C L E S
GOD, PLEASE BAR TAMPERING ENTITIES FROM INTERFERING WITH SITE COMMUNICATIONS
TO WHAT PURPOSE DO YOU ALLOW EVIL EYE SUCH EXTREME DESTRUCTIVE LATITUDE ANYWAY?
BAD LUCK POLLS BOARD K K K BAD LUCK VENT BOARD
INTRODUCTION | SYNCHRONICITY | PERSONALITY TYPE | P-GEISTS | ADVICE | TRUTH? | FAITH?
RUMINATIONS | LINKS | PLODDER'S PERSPECTIVE | MACABRE FUN | CONTACT
Some metaphorical descriptions of my life to date
Uphill battle... Ongoing obstacle course... Dead ends...
Rock strewn... Dismal weather... Tangled webs...
My poetic perspective re: bad luck
Others are always having fun
With smooth paths paved to get things done
While I, with my terrible timing & luck
Diabolically blocked; remain...yuck! stuck...
Can you, too, relate to this negative "bliss"?
Then let's give each other a virtual kiss
More Bad Luck Poems are on the Creative Outlet of the Vent Board
FOREWORD: This site is not exactly intended for those who don't share my experiences. Indeed, it's perfectly natural to expect skepticism from non-experiencers, and it's only due to my cumulative decades of abnormally uncanny jinxacles, that I even believe UFO, NDE, and other metaphysical phenomena, which I myself have not experienced. I am a victim of trauma no less than some child-abuse victims, Vietnam veterans, and Holocaust survivors, and I chose to report my abuse via this site. Never mind that my particular abusers are metaphysical (reminiscent of Jeannie's invisible nipping dog). Publicizing my torment by intangible entities is at least a partial, even if unresolved, catharsis for me, just as Dave Pelzer's child-abuse autobiography was his method of catharsis.
Murphy's Law, Bad Luck, Jinx, Hex, Curse, Evil Eye - these are merely superficial lip-service and don't begin to describe the damage capable of being wrought to psyches. I'm a female (you can call me "Murphy"), born September 1961, and after half a lifetime of constant dead ends, setbacks within setbacks, terrible timing, complexly interwoven simultaneous occurrences (negative synchronicity) specially designed to rub me thin, I'm convinced that in certain cases such as mine there's more to bad luck than what astrology would have people believe - i.e. being born under an unlucky star. It goes deeper than that. Because, aside from having many of the criteria of a FHighly Sensitive Person and chronic illness (probable FDysautonomia-related fibromyalgia) since childhood, my life has been invisibly, diabolically manipulated in such a consistent, subtle, premeditated way, that I'm convinced it's the machinations of evil spirits that have been constant, albeit invisible, thorns in my side. By the way, it may interest you to see this Foverlapping feedback that I received from an astrologer, medical intuitive and kineseologist, re: my health.
I'm convinced that there's something abnormally fishy about the fact that people often misjudge my well-intended motives, or misunderstand what I communicate, not only verbally but also via the Internet! No matter how clear I convey my meaning, it's as if negative entities control the actions of, or play upon the weak spots, of all weak-willed people who interact with me, causing them to act either boorish, or "innocently" imbecilic, or artfully treacherous, depending upon their nature. In fact, when I post on www discussion boards, I wouldn't be surprised if some respondents to my posts are in actuality evil spirits who instigate antagonism resulting in gang-mockery. What makes it even more fishy, is that board moderators either ignore my quest for a logical response or sometimes even add their own misplaced, flip comments.
It also makes no difference whether the person has an immaculate, trustworthy reputation, be they clergy, medical professional, intuitive, occult specialist, or astrologer. People from every one of these categories have subjected me to "exclusive" traitorious treatment, such as responding through clenched teeth, or in reprehensible or skeptical fashion with no instigation on my part to warrant such treatment. Because of this consistent, unexplainable mistreatment, I suspect that invisible entities temporarily possess or impersonate the personalities of those to whom I turn for services, such as programmers, or architects or else for medical or metaphysical feedback. Thus, I must always be on guard, and realize that when others respond non-satisfactorily, irrationally, or out-of-character, chances are that it's just another illusion among the never-ending string of jolts that my life is comprised of.
There's also something suspicious about the fact that the people whom I most need should get back to me never do (as if I don't exist) or that I can never reach people at the time I need them most, or that the people who do contact me are either those I'm not in synch with, or else they contact me at the most inconvenient or awkward time, such as when I'm urgently expecting someone else to return my call. I've also had times when it would seem as if something is starting out right (for example, I'd contacted architects, intuitives and programmers regarding services I really needed them for) only to have my bubble burst, or rather, "peter out". I.E. some of these people would initially respond with high enthusiasm, thus causing me to exert myself explaining in a clear, concise format what I required, but then... pfff... I wouldn't hear from them anymore... Silence... Nada... There have also been too many occasions where I'd ask someone a question, but they wouldn't respond. As if they didn't hear me. I'd then try raising my voice, and they still wouldn't hear me. Anyone reading this may tell themselves "that's normal, some people develop a self-defensive knack for tuning others out.." However, that doesn't explain why during the same period, these same people would conduct smooth-flowing discussions with other people. It's like the fates single me out for selectively inequitable treatment.
To give a "cross-sample" shopping-day out of my life:
First stop: The local health food store. If looks could freeze, the proprietor would have instantly frozen me with his icy eyes. There was a nutritionist in the store that day answering peoples' questions. Though I waited a long time for him, he kept attending to others' questions, but not to mine, as if I was part of the wallpaper. Even when I spoke up & asked where the "end of the line" is, so that he wouldn't be able to ignore me anymore, still, when my turn arrived he said he was in a rush to make an appointment and barely made eye contact with me. (Can it be that he was psychic and that my entities were visible to him? Not sure - but I suspect it, since a similar thing had once happened with a psychic lecturer who responded to questions from the audience, yet every time she glanced my way, she'd deliberately turn the other way). Now back to my shopping day:
Next stop: Electronics store. I asked the saleslady for lithium batteries for my Rx-minder. She, too, was grudgingly uncooperative, not making eye contact. She said she only saw one battery left, so I asked her if she could please check the drawer again, since, when I'd phoned previously, I remembered being told there were a few in stock. So she trudged back to the drawer & said, "what do you know there's more". She should have been helpful and cooperative without my having to painstakingly prompt her.
Next stop: The supermarket. I went to Customer Service for a raincheck, and the girl was just standing there with a spaced-out look (no other customers in line). I kept standing there, and she kept that spaced-out look plastered on her face. Finally I said "excuse me, do you work here" - whereupon she pouted - "Does it look as if I work here?" And it didn't end there. There was much more to this story, but I think I conveyed enough of the picture.
My fate is such, that I haven't yet found even one person whom I can truly relate to experientially. For all the fancy talk about soulmates, I have never even found a soul friend let alone a soulmate! My entire life, I've felt like an alien on this planet, never on the same plane of experiences as others are.
Note that I was recently browsing through the UFO2U site, wherein an alien named Cafth answers people's questions. The following Q&A session gave me comfort somewhat, as I was able to relate to the section (at the very bottom) wherein Cafth tells John "you're right, you don't belong here" and goes on to tell John that he's blocked from others. That's my experience exactly!
FAlien Cafth's response to John that he's being blocked (scroll to bottom)
Over the past decades, I've contacted psychics (mekubalim), palm-readers (chochmat hayad), graphologists, astrologers etc. The common thread running through their visions or readings is that I've been given an evil eye (ayin horah) by a young woman when I was a young child (2008 edit: Though I'm skittish, I finally decided to spill the beans that I'm Orthodox Jewish, because for literally decades, I've been seething that Orthodox Judaism has never provided the Jewish equivalent of a "white witch" for people in my situation. Rather they tend to go into "ostrich mode" as if skeletons don't exist in the closet. It's grossly unfair that on the one hand, "ayin horah" is allowed to have power, yet the rabbi's who informed me about my ayin horah failed to disclose the perpetrator despite their knowledge of my lifetime of anguish.)
Some of the aforesaid "consultants" also seemed very apprehensive, and spoke of an evil spirit associated with me. One psychic recently informed me that she's unable to connect with me due to confusion created by "mischief-makers" who surround me, and who are attracted to me (she couldn't understand why) and as of 2008, a spiritual naturopath told me that she can detect I'm being oppressed by demons. I've read what Dr. Bruce Goldberg had to say about psychic attack, and it sounds a bit like my case, since I'm jaundiced and also sometimes see peripheral elusive "shadows". I have no idea whether evil eye and psychic attack are one and the same. I do try some psychic "defense" by keeping cups of salt handy in my living areas, since salt is supposed to absorb negative entities.
At this point, my life has conditioned me to become a "passive pawn" rather than the active pawn I used to be, because to be an active pawn, invites meddling by the aforesaid malevolent entities. That's too stressful, and I've reached the limits of my coping ability, so the only way out that I can see is to "cop out" into passive mode (more or less). I.E. the more active I am, the more these entities are enabled to maneuver circumstances and timing to work against me. This in turn causes me to be [justifiedly] full of anger, hate or frustration, which in turn creates a vicious cycle. How? The negative energy generated by these emotions provides fuel for these entities to feed on, recharging them, so to speak.
Here's some tip-of-the-iceberg examples of the "meddling" I speak of: A few years ago, a bus I was waiting for was a bit late. Suddenly a deluge of rain came slamming into me & another guy sharing the shelter. We both jumped onto the bench & pressed against the back-wall, but it was ineffectual. About two min. later, the bus arrived - too late. The poor guy sharing the shelter had been a temporary co-sufferer of my luck! I had another experience with a bus coming late, where a woman told me that it was the FIRST TIME in her experience that the bus didn't show up; she was upset because she'd arrive late to work. But, furthermore, there were experiences surrounding the latter experiences, malevolently orchestrated to torture me.
I've had plenty other experiences with natural elements, buses, and any person or thing out of my realm of control. Also, alot of experiences where, just when I'd have had some good stuff happen to me (lulling me into feeling on a "high"), the "boom" would fall, & something negative would happen. Such experiences also conditioned me, over the years, to become more "blah" & not allow myself to ever feel too "high". That's safer, less rocky.
Besides the negative synchronicity that I mentioned earlier, I've also had weird synchronicity since way back. For example, I distinctly remember the fact that a high school teacher verbalized a very unusual word at the exact same time that I'd just been thinking it. I've had many such experiences throughout my life, causing me more over-stimulation than I could handle. Recently, a guy phoned Evelyn Paglini, a guest on the Art Bell show, about this same exact phenomenon of bad luck followed by weird synchronicity. I felt such an overwhelming feeling of validation when I heard him, & Evelyn's taking it in stride, as par for the course! I also had many instances of synchronicity which would mislead me to believe, "Ah... this is meant to be," only to have my balloon deflated upon realizing that path led nowhere.
There's a gross lack of information contemporarily available on the subject of bad luck. Oh... there's info about negative NDE's, hauntings, possession, UFO abductions, paranormal phenomena, and anything that's really sensational. But, face it, who except those who suffer it are really interested in those with chronic non-sensational bad luck? Only chronic victims truly recognize how uncanny and debilitating their consistently maneuvered lives are! And so, since I'm a major victim, I decided to break the ice, and create this website.
Because I know there are other victims out there too, since this is far from a new phenomenon.
For example: Quoting Page 5 of "Why Things Bite Back" by Edward Tenner (his source: the New York Times of April 1987, Erik Sandberg-Diment):
Even computer professionals aren't immune from demon theories. Some specialists acknowledge, as one put it, that certain problems are "in the area of metaphysics," and that "strange things happen in electronics for which there is no reason." He reports that at one company, a system would crash during critical client preparations whenever a certain engineering manager appeared. The problem was solved by excluding him from its room whenever an important demonstration was being prepared.Another example: Centuries ago, Ibn Ezra, a Jewish sage, wrote this poem:
On the day I was born,
Some stars. Whatever I do,
Abraham ibn Ezra
The unalterable stars altered.
If I decided to sell lamps,
It wouldn't get dark till the day I died.
I'm a failure before I begin.
If I suddenly decided to sell shrouds,
People would suddenly stop dying.
On the day I was born,
Some stars. Whatever I do,
In the same vein, there's an ancient story about Rabbi Chanina Ben Dosa, whose destiny it was to undergo near starvation so that, in his merit, the remainder of the world would not suffer famine. His students took pity on him, and they knew he always trod a certain path every day, like clockwork. So they decided to place some nourishing food on that path, and then they hid themselves to see what would happen. But, though they waited and waited, he never appeared! Just that day for some reason, he took another path! After that incident, they finally became believers in the idea of fate.
My aspirations: To live in a world of my fantasies; a world where people communicate via telepathy such as in Madeline L'Engle's "A Wrinkle In Time"; a world that's not high-speed, nor driven by money, power, propaganda, luck, smarts, "facts" or competition. Because in such a world there are always more losers than winners, which leads to anger and resentment. My wishful thinking would have me live in a world where everyone truly understands each other, because we'd have similar physical and emotional tendencies. My fantasy world wouldn't foster complexity; this only leads to lies. For example, doctors, lawyers & financiers are full of overly-complex jargon designed to confuse people. In my dream world, there would be no such thing as illness, therefore no need for cryptic doctors, medicine, or medical books. There'd be no need for cryptic lawyers, because everyone would understand each other naturally and therefore never feel the hatred which leads to lawsuits. Finally, there'd be no need for cryptic financiers (nor money, for that matter) since all people's needs would be accommodated by a generous natural environment.
Thank you, Paul Lutus, for your generosity & empathic wisdom in creating the wonderfully user-friendly Arachnophilia HTML Editor! Thank you Irfan Skiljan for your wonderful IrfanView image editor...
Thank you, IconBazaar for your quality Gifs! ExtremeTracking, MisterPoll and BoardNation for your remote scripts.
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IS THIS YOU? Cartoon generously donated by Jon Carter - Cartertoons.com
I remember when I read my first validation of my own synchronistic experiences, way back more than a decade ago. I was reading Laile Bartlett's book "PSI Trek" wherein she spoke of how she and her family were taking a trip, & I believe they were playing some sort of game where you have to name an object and then call it out when you see it on the road. So for kicks she called out either "elephant" or "white elephant". A short time later, voila! A traveling circus materialized, complete with an elephant.
Jinxaclees can contact each other (by regular posting or else private messages) via the PopUp-Free FVent Board. If any of the messages on the board indicate I have common ground for discussion, then I'll respond as time, luck, and my limitations allow me to. I say this because previously, I'd been receiving emails (with a few exceptions) from people whose experiences weren't quite parallel to mine, thus I was at a loss how to respond.